Paris, the city that inspired and influenced me most out of all the cultures in the world, was drawing closer. With the support of friends and family, yours truly, a suburban mum who had never been more than a few meters away from her kids at any one time, was ready to embark on an adventure into a dreamscape.
Most of my friends are also very dedicated mothers. They know how thankless and exhausting motherhood can be, despite how much value it has. For the first time in 12 yrs I decided to put myself first.
We reserved a table at our usual local restaurant, shared some drinks, had some laughs. Most importantly I felt the love and solidarity of my friends, so that despite the fact I’d be travelling alone, I carried their energy with me. I knew I was not alone at all.
The “White Rabbit” I simply HAD to chase before it was too late, was the discovery of who I am as an individual, as a woman, beyond the identity of playing in the “roles” of mother & wife.
Essentially those roles do not require a woman to have any self awareness, identity beyond duties at all. Much less feel any inspiration, nor explore anything with any degree of passion.
But life is short and at the same time too long… and the rabbit carries a clock with him for a reason…. its ticking is a our reminder.. a reminder that is so fleeting that it is also very easy to ignore. We may be mothers, wives, in the paid workforce or full time mums at home, in roles where we often give more than we receive… but we only have one life to live.
There are no rewards for having missed moments of happiness, the reward is the journey of life. At each step there are blessings. There comes a time when it’s imperative to stop and welcome these. They are the gems of experience God gifts us when we’re ready to slow down from the helter skelter of our routine.
Preparing to depart on this trip felt less like a holiday, as the inaudible clanging of chains came crashing down, on a deeper level, it was a break away.